Emotionally Strong Boys
How do we help our boys express their feelings and grow up to be unafraid of them? How do we help them understand that they can be masculine — and have feelings too? How do we help them survive the tests of masculinity intact and on their own terms? In the book Miss! Women Teaching Boys, Dr Michael Auden presents the following strategies, designed to help women teachers nurture and protect the emotional lives of their boys students, to respect their interests and needs, and help them grow up to be caring, intelligent, successful men.
Strategies
Give boys permission to have an internal life, approval for the full range of human emotions, and help in developing an emotional vocabulary so that they may better understand themselves and communicate more effectively with others.
How do we help our boys express their feelings and grow up to be unafraid of them? How do we help them understand that they can be masculine — and have feelings too? How do we help them survive the tests of masculinity intact and on their own terms? In the book Miss! Women Teaching Boys, Dr Michael Auden presents the following strategies, designed to help women teachers nurture and protect the emotional lives of their boys students, to respect their interests and needs, and help them grow up to be caring, intelligent, successful men.
Strategies
Give boys permission to have an internal life, approval for the full range of human emotions, and help in developing an emotional vocabulary so that they may better understand themselves and communicate more effectively with others.
Recognize and accept the high activity level of boys and give them safe boy places to express it. "Many parents of boys do embrace the physicality of boys...some do not.
Talk to boys in their language — in a way that honours their pride and their masculinity. Be direct with them; use them as consultants and problem solvers.
Teach boys that emotional courage is courage, and that courage and empathy are the sources of real strength in life.
Use discipline to build character and conscience, not enemies. "Sooner or later, everybody gets into trouble, whether as a result of his impulsivity, his activity level, or just because he's human: it is a normal part of growing up.
"Very few boys or men are tall, handsome, athletic, successful with women, endlessly virile, and physically fearless...Boys suffer from a too-narrow definition of masculinity, and it is time to re-examine that message...We have to teach boys that there are many ways to become a man; that there are many ways to be brave, to be a good father, to be loving and strong and successful.
